thoughts

cognitive defusion techniques

1. Recognize when you’re engaging in negative self-talk or cognitive distortions
2. Name the thought
3. Thank your mind and move on
4. Speak your thoughts in a silly voice and move on
5. Disrupt your train of negative thought with positive ones or distractions
6. R.E.A.S.O.N.
   • R → Is this thought Rational?
   • E → Validate your Emotions
   • A → Think of Alternative view points
   • S → Trust in your Self and gut feeling
   • O → Challenge Old beliefs
   • N → Replace with New thoughts
7. Rehearse positive statements that directly refute or invalidate your negative self-talk
8. Socratic questioning
   • Questions
9. Write down your inner dialogue

cognitive distortions

1. Filtering: Focusing on negatives exclusively
2. Polarization: Black and white thinking
3. Overgeneralization: Using “always”, “never”, etc.
4. Discounting the Positive: A type of filtering
5. Jumping to Conclusions: With no evidence
6. Catastrophizing: Saying “what if”
   • Decatastrophizing
7. Personalization: Taking things personally
8. Control Fallacies: Thinking your actions impact a situation
9. Fallacy of Fairness: Using a scale of fairness
10. Blaming: Making others responsible
11. Shoulds: Thinking it should be a certain way
12. Emotional Reasoning: Assuming your feelings are accurate
13. Fallacy of Change: Manipulating others
14. Global Labeling: Assigning negative labels
15. Always Being Right: Opinions as facts

mistaken beliefs

1. What is the evidence for this belief? Looking objectively at all of your life experience, what is the evidence that this is true?
2. Does this belief invariably or always hold true for you?
3. Does this belief look at the whole picture? Does it take into account both positive and negative ramifications?
4. Does this belief promote your well-being and/or peace of mind?
5. Did you choose this belief on your own or did it develop out of your experience of growing up in your family?

types of negative self-talk

1. The Worrier
   • Creates anxiety by imagining the worst-case scenario (catastrophizing)
2. The Critic
   • Part of you that is constantly judging and evaluating your behavior
3. The Victim
   • Part of you that feels helpless or hopeless
4. The Perfectionist
   • Similar to the Critic, but its concern is less to put you down than to push and guide you to do better

graph LR
  FF(Does it fit the facts?) -- Yes --> H(Is it helpful?)
	H -- Yes --> A("●")
	A --> MD(Mindfulness)
	A --> F(Feel your emotions)
	A --> Ex(Express your emotions)
	H -- No --> B(●)
	B --> D(Distress tolerance skills)
	B --> Act(Act intentionally)
	B --> Ex
	FF -- No --> H2(Is it helpful?)
	H2 -- Yes --> C(●)
	C --> Act
	C --> ER(Emotional regulation skills)
	C --> L(Listen to them)
	H2 -- No --> C2(●)
	C2 --> D
	C2 --> Af(Repeat affirmations)
	C2 --> Ch(Challenge your thoughts)
	

emotions

skills

1. Distress tolerance
2. Mindfulness
3. Emotional regulation

   • Recognize your emotions

   • Reduce your physical and cognitive vulnerability

   • Increase positive emotions

   • Be mindful and non-judgmental

   • Do the opposite of emotional urges

   • Problem solve

     A.B.C.

     • A → Think of Alternative solutions
     • B → Choose the Best ideas
     • C → Commit to an idea
4. Interpersonal effectiveness
   • Questions to Ask

   1. Identifying emotions

      • Recognize symptoms of suppressed feelings
      • Turn inward to your body
      • Describe the exact feeling

   2. Know what you want (use a decision tree if necessary)

   3. Ask for what you want with a justification, a softening statement, a question, and appreciation

   4. Negotiate conflicting wants

      R.A.V.E.N.

      • R → Relax
      • A → Avoid aversion
      • V → Validate your needs
      • E → Examine your values
      • N → Neutral voice
      • Classic Compromise Solutions

   5. Saying no

   6. Getting information

   7. Acting according to your values

5. Communication
   • Be an active listener
   • Speak up about your thoughts and ideas
   • Try not to make assumptions or accusations
   • Be brief and clear
   • Don’t be afraid of silence
   • Focus on your body language
   • Never respond to a message when you’re upset

anger

• Expressing anger just means finding a way to discharge it
• Communicating anger means to let someone know that you’re angry about something
• Excessive ventilation of anger only tends to produce more anger

graph LR
  TE(Triggering Event) --> NT(Negative Thoughts)
	NT --> ER(Emotional Response)
	ER --> PS(Physical Symptoms)
	PS --> BR(Behavioral Response)

stress management

1. Prioritize your responsibilities
2. Break down your tasks at hand
3. Cognitive restructuring
4. Focus on your basic needs
5. Set aside self-care time
6. Write or talk about your stressors
7. Show gratitude and put things into perspective
8. Relaxation techniques
9. Rewrite rigid rules you have placed on yourself

other emotions

• Guilt is adaptive and helpful that holds a failure up against our values
• Shame is believing we are flawed and unworthy and is a source of destructive behavior
• Fear is the unreasonable overestimation of some threat, coupled with an underestimation of your ability to cope
• When any emotion is excessive or destructive, the solution lies not in expressing it more but in changing the self-talk and mistaken beliefs that aggravate that emotion
• Keep emotions away from hyper and hypo arousal — in the zone of tolerance